


Cognitive Dissonance: A Christmas One-Shot

by sleepandsweetener



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Party, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:21:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28343823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepandsweetener/pseuds/sleepandsweetener
Summary: It’s Christmas, but for the first year ever, it doesn’t quite feel like it. OR A cute boy with green hair and freckles helps you adjust to a life you’ve never known.
Relationships: Yamaguchi Tadashi & Reader, Yamaguchi Tadashi/Reader, Yamaguchi Tadashi/You, Yamaguchi Tadashi/gn! Reader
Kudos: 15





	Cognitive Dissonance: A Christmas One-Shot

As you wandered through the halls of the grandiose hotel, you couldn’t help but reflect on the irony of it all. Hallways were like that, you supposed -- always reflecting. So too were the magnificent glass chandeliers that hung from the ceilings, cascading down like melting icicles, dripping to the rhythm of its own artificial light. You’ve seen one once before, in the window of the Swarovski store at the mall. Separated by a panel of glass and a world of luxury, you watched in awe as the crystals captured your reflection so well, watched as your portrait danced in beams of colorful light. Here, there were so many of them, but as you stared up into each passing fixture, they reflected only emptiness.

The elaborate Christmas displays lining the walls carried the same energy: so bright, yet so dull. _Is this what the rich spend their money on?_ That, and needlessly expensive clothing. The event you were currently supposed to be attending required the finest of garments, and your parents made sure that your outfit didn’t disappoint. After all, the gala was being held in their honor; good first impressions were a must. Unfortunately, cost didn’t equal comfort. Though you looked stunning, you certainly didn’t feel it, as your new shoes had already dug matching blisters into the backs of your heels.

Stopping every so often to readjust your shoes was a futile attempt to stop the pain, but at least you had made it out of the main ballroom. Here, in the hallway, you could at least breathe. You hated it -- you had everything a teen could ever ask for, but still felt so unhappy. You were happy for your parents, of course: a big promotion at their pharmaceutical company was no small achievement, and it had landed them in the spotlight with big pharma’s upper echelons. They were good people, your parents, but watching them play the game with figureheads so vain and corrupted tweaked you the wrong way. 

You had to get out, get some fresh air, and air you got -- under the guise of bathroom leave, you were able to escape to the slightly less suffocating hallways. A couple nasty blisters were no match for the nasty people littering the ballrooms’ fancy tables, and you’d take physical pain over the mental pain of having to make small talk any day. So here you were, walking and ruminating. It couldn’t be healthy, thinking all the time, but to you, it was much better than the alternative. 

“Hey,” a voice called out from your left. “Are you lost?” You turned around to see an open lounge area with a green-haired, freckled boy leaning back in one of the velvet chairs, suit tailored perfectly to his lean yet athletic frame. You felt your cheeks go slightly hot; he seemed to be about your age, and he was _cute_.

“Ah, not really,” you replied. “I kinda wish I was, though. I’m just getting some fresh air.”

“Are you sure?” Concern sprang across his face as his brows furrowed. “You’re limping.”

“Oh.” You looked down at your shoes from hell, cheeks growing hotter. “It’s nothing. Just a couple blisters. Who would’ve thought that expensive footwear is even more painful to wear new than cheap ones?”

The boy smiled at your humor, eyes sparkling despite his worried gaze. _An invitation._ “Here.” He motioned to the chair next to his. “Come sit down. I have Band-Aids in my suit pocket.” 

His smile was infectious. Making your way past the other couches and tables, you could only smile back. “Wow. I guess you come prepared, huh?”

He laughed. “Not really. I always keep Band-Aids on me though. Force of habit.”

“Force of habit?” You cocked your head.

“Oh yeah. I’m the captain of my high school boy’s volleyball team!” he said proudly as he reached into his pocket, fishing for the Band-Aids.

“Oh,” you said, eyes wide in amazement. “That must be a hard job. Tiring, I assume?”

“Tell me about it.” He sighed, grin still plastered on his face. “Like I said -- Band-Aids. Speaking of which,” he held out his arm, item of discussion in hand. “Band-Aids! Here you go. Oh, and by the way… my name’s Yamaguchi. You can call me Tadashi, though.”

There was no way your smile could match his, but in an attempt to show your gratitude, you still put up your best effort. “Tadashi…” _That’s a cute name._ “Thank you so much. My name’s l/n, but please, call me f/n.” You began to peel back one of the wrappers, but stopped when it suddenly hit you. “Yamaguchi… wait. As in, like, CEO of Futurecorps Pharmaceuticals, Yamaguchi Riku?”

“Oh.” Tadashi’s eyes flitted to the ground. “Yeah. That’s my dad. I’m his son. Family.” His tone was largely the same, but where a smile had been, little expression remained. “But…” He paused, picking at a button on his jacket. _Changing the subject._ “L/n. As in, who my family’s currently hosting this event for?” 

Feeling your cheeks go hot again, you put your hands up in defeat. Denying it was pointless. “Guilty as charged. More like the party I’m currently trying to avoid, though.” 

Tadashi turned his gaze back to you. His warm laugh and familiar smile had returned in spades. “Yeah. You’ll get better at it as you go.”

“Better at talking to those people? Or avoiding them?” 

“Avoiding them. Talking to them… now _that_ is a lost cause,” he asserted, chuckling. “But just for the record, next time don’t use the bathroom excuse. They see right through it, even if they don’t show it.”

You cringed, holding your head in your hands. It did nothing to hide your embarrassment. “Is it really that obvious that I’m new to all this?”

He tucked a strand of forest green hair behind his ear, brows twisting a little. “Well, everyone already knows you’re new anyway. I mean, this party is literally for your parents. But, even if the party wasn’t for you…” He looked down at the floor again.

“Just spit it out. I don’t need it sugarcoated.”

“Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is that even if I hadn’t known who the party was for, I still would have identified you as new immediately.”

You groaned, sinking further into your chair. At this point, you saw no dignity left to salvage, deciding to thumb your still-unopened Band-Aid wrappers instead.

Tadashi’s eyes grew wide at your palpable response. “Wait, I’m sorry! That was mean, I didn’t-“

“No, you’re right.” You shook your head, almost too hard, like an apology. “I don’t fit in here at all. I don’t fit in at this party, I don’t fit in my shoes, I don’t fit in this life. It’s been over a month since all this happened and I still feel like I’m trapped in a state of limbo. Like I’m halfway between treading water and drowning in the sea.” Small tears began to prick the corners of your eyes. “God, I’m such a mess. A disaster, I’m so sorry, you shouldn’t have to-”

“Hey. Look at me.” You looked, albeit reluctantly. You were expecting pity at most. Tadashi’s smile, though… _empathy._ “Are you okay with hugs?” You nodded slowly, and he pulled you into an embrace just as warm as his smile was. It should have been awkward; you two were still barely acquainted, not to mention sitting in different chairs. But it wasn’t awkward. It felt natural.

After a while, you pulled away, and he continued. “Like I said, you get more comfortable navigating this,” he gestured to the room at large, “and that,” he pointed in the direction of the ballroom, “with time and experience. It’s like…” He put a finger to his chin, searching for an example. “Driving a car! The more you practice, the better you get!”

You sighed, returning to his eyes. _Warm, inviting eyes._ “Yeah. I have to get better at it eventually. But…” Your voice quivered a little. “Tell me Tadashi, does it get any easier?”

He swallowed hard, face shifting. It was only minute, but you still noticed. How the corners of his mouth curled down ever so slightly. How his eyes still reflected an invitation, reflected _you_ , but also reflected a subtle sort of sadness, the kind that spoke volumes without saying a word. _Only the truth could escape his lips now_. 

“You’re perceptive. Honestly… honestly? I’d love to say yes, but then I wouldn’t be sitting here right now, huh?” He let out another laugh, one that you felt didn’t suit him like the others had. “I mean, it gets better. You get more comfortable. Trust me, I would know. I’ve only ever been here. I know this life like I know my own hand. God, I’m still not answering your question.” His gaze was piercing now, like icicles. Not like the ones on the chandelier in the mall. Not like the ones on the chandeliers in the hotel. Like real icicles. Real yet fleeting, pure yet raw, sad yet so, so beautiful. “No. At least, it never gets easier for me. None of it does.”

It should have made you sad, to know that you’ll never resurface for a full, uninhibited breath of air. Yet, all you could do was smile. A real, genuine smile. The first of the night. “You know, I can confidently say that you’re the first person here who’s been completely and totally honest with me. I really like that about you, Tadashi.”

“Yeah, well you would be one of the first.” You frowned at that, and received a familiar smile in return. He gently took one of the Band-Aids you were still holding, and began to peel off the wrapper himself. “Another thing -- just for the record. These people… they’re intimidating, sure, but really? It’s all a facade. At least, it is here. Hell, it’s been what? 18 years? And I still don’t know who any of these people really are. I know their names and careers and could probably guess their net worths, but behind closed doors?” He shook his head again. “You’ll never know the full story. Now put this on,” he said, handing you the freshly unwrapped Band-Aid in exchange for the second one. 

You obliged, pausing for a moment to think. “Cognitive dissonance.”

“What?” Tadashi stopped for a moment.

“Yeah. This, I mean.” You gestured out in no particular direction. “It’s a Christmas party. But this isn’t a Christmas party. It’s cognitive dissonance.”

“Please, do explain.” He handed you the other Band-Aid, unwrapped just as clean as the first one.

“Well.” You stuck the Band-Aid over your blister. “On its own, a Christmas party does not create cognitive dissonance. Christmas is all about warmth, right? So by proxy, Christmas parties should also be spreading warmth. Most are. But I look at this Christmas party, and I feel no warmth. I don’t even feel cold. It sure is ruthless up here, but no one was particularly ruthless tonight.”

Tadashi looked confused. “So what do you feel, then?”

You looked down, putting your shoes back on. “Empty. This party is empty. Christmas makes people feel many things. For some, it’s warmth. It makes others feel cold and lonely. But at this Christmas party, I feel only emptiness. So it’s cognitive dissonance.” When you looked back up, Tadashi was staring at you, in a delighted shock charging his smile.

“Wow. That was profound, for...” He checked his watch. “10:45pm. Maybe you’re not as new to this as I thought.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Doesn’t matter. I do have one more question, though.” Tadashi’s cheeks turned the faintest shade of pink. He continued nonetheless. “F/n. I agree with you. This party doesn’t make me feel warm at all. But…” He took a deep breath, same smile stuck to his face. “I did feel warm tonight… With you. Do you think you might have felt the same?”

“Tadashi, I…” You only knew the truth. “Yes.”

He slowly rose from his chair. “Do you want to take a walk?”

Your heart soared. “I’d like that a lot.” You walked, and talked, and avoided your party, and for the first time that night, you didn’t want it to end.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading! I posted this on Tumblr last night but I thought I’d post this here too. Either way, I hope you enjoyed!


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